A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
And then he peed in my hair
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