Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she smelled like a LAN party
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
