New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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