All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
