whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
