she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
