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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
