Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I can't turn off my feet"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
