Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
