Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We had to coat check the pizza.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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