part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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