If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
