At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
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