at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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