her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
