she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
