He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
