It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
