Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
