Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I have already put on my inside pants.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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