i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize