No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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