No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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