Kiss
Puke
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
