Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
where are you?
Hypothermia
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
