Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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