is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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