Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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