ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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