if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
