HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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