Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
