even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize