Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
