I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
