Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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