One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
