I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
my shit smells like andre
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
