Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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