DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
