Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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