She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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