I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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