He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Actions speak louder than pants.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
