Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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