It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
