Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
