my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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