he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
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