i don't like sucking hair
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
