Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize