That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
