he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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