i would punch a child for taco bell
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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