our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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