i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Two words: blizzard sex
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Randomize