your parents love me but you hate me
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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