That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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