worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
