It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
