I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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