I want to make a zoo with you.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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